Nathan E. Lewis

“Gracious Speech”
Colossians 4:5-6
Paul has described the Church as a house of prayer and a vigilant body looking for open doors to proclaim the mystery of Christ, the gospel. Paul is no separatist and he does not call the church to retreat from the world, prohibiting its members from interaction with those apart from Christ. Rather, he calls Church members to pray, look for open doors, and to engage in discussions with non-Christians.
He writes to the new Christians in Colossae, “Conduct yourselves wisely toward outsiders.” Wisdom is applied knowledge. A person may possess a large amount of truth in his mind yet remain foolish. A wise person is the one who correctly applies God’s truth. Paul instructs us to correctly apply God’s truth to our conversations with non-Christians. And so, we Christians are commissioned to engage in such conversations. Each of us must ask, “Are we walking through the doors God has opened for us to apply his gospel to such conversations?” Do we have neighborly and professional relationships in which we are conversing with unbelievers? Do we lace our conversations with the gospel?
Paul offends many a reader by using the term, “outsider.” He makes a distinction between insiders and outsiders: this is blatantly politically incorrect. Those who take offense are mostly blinded to their own distinctions made and lived between “us and them.” Paul goes to great lengths in his ministry to emphasize human commonalities: We are all made in the image of God regardless of our faith, religion, behavior, and even our attempts to twist and scorn the image of God. Each and every human being we would meet is made in the image of God. Paul echoes Jesus and David in presenting common grace. God’s goodness is showered upon the righteous and the unrighteous. God is no respecter of persons. He shines his sunrays and pours out his rain upon the crops of the righteous and the unrighteous alike.
Nevertheless, Paul does not refrain from making valid distinctions between groups of people. In doing so, he is not insulting the other group. Paul makes the distinction between insiders and outsiders to emphasize the benefits received from union with Christ. Paul wishes that every single individual and group of people would unite to Christ and thus receive the benefits of freedom and power to do the good of God in this world. He wishes that peace, joy, love, and hope would be the experience and expression of every single person. He happens to believe that those who are united to Christ receive these gifts freely and powerfully.
Paul is not naive to the inconsistency of many who are united to Christ, who seek to divide, destroy, and mar the goodness of God in this world. He is not ignorant to the hypocrisy of the Church. In this letter to the Colossians, Paul in no way leads us to believe that the distinction between insiders and outsiders is that insiders are of good behavior and that outsiders are of bad behavior. Paul makes the distinction between insiders and outsiders to emphasize the benefits received from union with Christ.
One of the most popular graphics in Oregon is the “Coexist.” Bumper sticker. The “C” is the crescent of Islam complete with its star. The “o” is the ecology peace sign. The “e” is the male and female gender symbols. The “x” is the star of David, the symbol of Judaism. The “I” is the star of Bahai. The “s” is the Taoist Yin Yang. The “t” is the cross, the sign of Christianity. I would guess that most people who show this sign are those who would deny the distinction between “the us and them.” In fact these people would say that it is morally wrong to make distinctions between people regarding race, religion, gender and politics. However, the graphic “Coexist” makes distinction between eight groups: male and female, Muslim and Bahai, Christian and Jewish, Toaism and Judaism, peace and jihad. The message of “Coexist” is that we should learn to live together in peace, acknowledging our interdependence upon each other, protecting the rights and freedoms we have as human beings. But I suspect that those who show this sign are not adherents of Islam, Judaism, Toa, or Christianity. The Bahai may show the sign as they claim that all the religions of the world may join Bahai, a religion of peace, prayer, and feasting for anyone regardless of classification. However, even Bahai distinguishes between different groups of people. The American Bahai temple in the Midwest is a beautiful edifice complete with nine doors, representing the nine major religions of the world, all welcome to enter and pray together. It is impossible to refrain from distinguishing between one group and another.
Paul means no harm to outsiders but instead he is instructing insiders, those who are united to Christ, to speak wisely and graciously with those who are not united to Christ. In other words, the distinction is made so that peace and productivity might result from different groups interacting rather than polarizing and harming each other. The distinction is made by Paul to motivate members of the Church to share their benefits in Christ with others bereft of them. We are to do so by conversing about the gospel so that outsiders might know the way to receive these benefits.
Paul writes, “Conduct yourselves wisely toward outsiders, making the best use of the time.” We live in the “Day of God’s Patience.” This is the “Day of Salvation.” How is the Church to spend her time in these last days, no matter how long they continue? What is the best use of our time as members of the Church? There are so many valid and productive enterprises for the Church and thankfully, the Church worldwide conducts a vast array of mercy ministries, art festivals, worship events, peace talks, campaigns against famine and disease, Bible studies, prayer meetings, and fellowship gatherings. But Paul says that we make the best use of time by conversing with outsiders, informing them of the mystery of Christ which is union with Christ. It is possible for the Church to uses everything that I have listed as activities which promote and render the space and occasion for this wise and gracious conversation of the gospel to unfold. But it is only possible if the Church wisely views all her activity moving toward this purpose, taking advantage of the doors God opens before us.
In these conversations with non-Christians, Paul instructs us, “Let your speech always be gracious.” For Paul this graciousness means two, inseparable things: 1) that we speak kindly and appropriately to others; 2) that we share the gospel in our conversations. Members of the Church ought to be known for their respectful and beautiful speech. As we think the best of others, seeing the image of God in them, we express these positive views by choosing speech that is uplifting, commendable, honoring, and polite. For those of us who are crass poets, this is a challenge. For those of us who are angry with God and Man, this is nearly impossible. Paul has mostly in mind those of us who would shun and scorn outsiders, speaking to them in such a way that they would know that we disapprove of their view and lifestyle. Actually, most of us know that such speech is wrong and so what we do is refrain from any conversation let alone the building of any relationships or interactions that would lead to such conversations.
Some of the first apologetic conversations we should have, especially with someone with whom we share a relationship is to emphasize the image of God in everyone and the common grace we enjoy from God’s hand. This puts us on equal ground and from this non-threatening space we can begin to speak of our desperate need for special grace and the renewing of our images in Christ. This ongoing discussion is one centered upon the gospel and thus it is gracious speech.
Paul says, “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt.” Paul says, “Always.” That’s significant. He also says, “seasoned with salt,” which is synonymous to “gracious,” but adds a little more instruction. Paul is reminding us of Jesus preaching, “You are the salt of the earth.” Just like Jesus, Paul refers to salt as an enhancer of flavor rather than a preserving agent. Our speech is to enhance the flavor of the conversation. If you are dialoguing with a person who is talking about a charitable function in the community, you may enhance the flavor of this conversation by saying that such a charity is precisely in the spirit of Christ and his gospel for the world and for this reason you are most eager to volunteer to help the good cause. Such a salty statement might lead to further, more detailed conversation about Christ and his holy gospel. If you are listening to a person is distress, expressing a deep despair, you may enhance the flavor by reassuring this person of the common grace of God, his love and concern for this person, adding that such love comes through you and that you are ready to help and to pray. Such saltiness may whet the appetite of even a depressed person who has lost all appetite.
Paul finally writes, “so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” This means that we must listen to outsiders. We are to engage in dialogue, which means that we do our share of listening. We do not control the conversation, but participate in it supplying bits of the gospel as it is appropriate to do so. We have to listen so that we can recognize the point of contact for the gospel. There is not one, generic gospel presentation that fits every context. We must listen to hear where the person is coming from, what is his/her particular need or longing. What is this person’s idol? What is this person’s interest? What is this person’s biggest hang-up with God? What is the best point of contact? To talk about peace or hope? To talk about mercy or justice? To talk about the problem of pain or the satisfaction of life? The only way to identify the point of contact is to listen.
By listening and thus leaving a positive impression we are contributing to the universal conversation of the gospel. By offering a bit of the gospel we lend our voices to others who will also contribute to the conversation. We are scattering seeds. A fraction of our conversations may present an opportunity to share in detail the work of redemption God has completed for us.
A starting point in expressing the love of Christ is to listen. Jesus listened to Nicodemus, the Samaritan Woman, the Rich Younger Ruler, the Pharisees and the Saducees. He listened to Mary and Martha. He listened to Peter and to Judas. He listened to the Syrophonecian Woman and to the Centurian. He listened to the tax collectors and prostitutes. He listened and then he spoke lovingly and forthrightly. He spoke the truth in love. He identified points of contact and cut straight to the heart of the person.
The words of Jesus are pure gospel. He has wisely conducted himself toward outsiders, including ourselves, for we all were once outsiders. His speech is full of grace and salty. He knew how to perfectly answer every person. Listen to the pure gospel of Jesus:

“Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God. Blessed are you who are hungry now, for you shall be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh…
Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven.
Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you? Everyone who comes to me and hears my words and does them, I will show you what he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built. But the one who hears and does not do them is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. When the stream broke against it, immediately it fell, and the ruin of that house was great.
For John the Baptist has come eating no bread and drinking no wine, and you say, ‘He has a demon.’ The Son of Man has come eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Look at him! A glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’ Yet wisdom is justified by all her children.

If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself? For whoever is ashamed of me and of my words, of him will the Son of Man be ashamed when he comes in his glory and the glory of the Father and of the holy angels.

There were some present at that very time who told him about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mingled with their sacrifices. And he answered them, “Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans, because they suffered in this way? No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish. Or those eighteen on whom the tower in Siloam fell and killed them: do you think that they were worse offenders than all the others who lived in Jerusalem? No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish.”

He went on his way through towns and villages, teaching and journeying toward Jerusalem. And someone said to him, “Lord, will those who are saved be few?” And he said to them, “Strive to enter through the narrow door. For many, I tell you, will seek to enter and will not be able. When once the master of the house has risen and shut the door, and you begin to stand outside and to knock at the door, saying, ‘Lord, open to us,’ then he will answer you, ‘I do not know where you come from.’ Then you will begin to say, ‘We ate and drank in your presence, and you taught in our streets.’ But he will say, ‘I tell you, I do not know where you come from. Depart from me, all you workers of evil!’ In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth, when you see Abraham and Isaac and Jacob and all the prophets in the kingdom of God but you yourselves cast out. And people will come from east and west, and from north and south, and recline at table in the kingdom of God. And behold, some are last who will be first, and some are first who will be last.”